Author: Diana HC Tan

Recently a writer to the Forum Page of one of our local newspapers suggested that children should not expect their parents to look after their young children. So, is grandparenting fulfilling?

I know of grandparents who dote on their grandchildren. They are ever ready to go pick them to and from school. They are ever ready to stay at home during the weekends to look after them.

I also know of people who adamantly say, “I will not look after my grandchildren. I want my own space and time. I do not mind having them visit for some hours on occasions, but no long-term grandparenting for me.”

I know of grandparents who are stressed from looking after their grandchildren. The expectations of care from the parents of their grandchildren could drive these grandparents up the wall. Here are the poor souls who could not say no to their children and ended up in tears and suffer emotional and physical health due to grandparenting stresses.

I do not have grandchildren but I think I would love to grandparent. I have been watching reels on Facebook showing off new born babies with their umbilical cord still attached, babies being fed and babies who just bring a smile to the viewer’s face.

So, is it “right” to say that children should not expect their parents to take on grandparenting duties? Hmmm… I guess the question is for grandparents to decide. If the decision is not to grandparent, then there should be no blame or judgement. Grandparents should feel free to “give up” their duties if they decide not to grandparent after having done it for some years. There is no one-size-fits-all. Importantly, peace and harmony should reign in the home. The sense of guilt feeling, possibly generated by societal expectations and norms, should be thrown out of the window.